ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
