I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
