Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
