there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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