alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
