i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
