I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
