An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
