Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
