Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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