Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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