I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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