Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
