Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
