Do you still have your period?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
