I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
