I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She is in my trunk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
