I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
