But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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