I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
