I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
