your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
