sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
