Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
