How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
