i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
