Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
