The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
