Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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