my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Randomize
