oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Do vagina's smell?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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