I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
