this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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