We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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