Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I forgot how hot balto sounded
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
