Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
