So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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