Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
