Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize