a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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