I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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