Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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