Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
