My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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