Pappa wants mamma naked
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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