How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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