Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is it penis luge time yet?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
