google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
