Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
