yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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