What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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