Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
