I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I hope mine doesn't look like that
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
