sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
