is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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