they need to just BURY HIM!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize