We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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