She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We talked him into tasing himself.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
