just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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