Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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