Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
