Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
