That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
