somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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