Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
