After last night, I could never be a politician.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Enjoy the penises
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
