i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
