marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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